sometimes all i really want to do is to talk to you and atleast have your attention for an hour of your day without other things going on. so that maybe we can talk about why you said things earlier and why you acted the way you did. like a switch flipped and you lost it on me for no reason. i think youre mad at yourself and you believe youre so deep in a hole that you dont care. but thats dumb and i dont believe you would do that…i can be wrong though. and you changed so much. i dont think you even recognize yourself anymore and idc what you say, you dont like it. it isnt you. thats exactly why half the time youre up finding an escape or a way out of feeling down cause of choices youve made or choices you make. and you can blame all you want on me but it does nothing cause its really not my fault nor has nothing to do with me. quite opposite, i tell you not to do things and to try and be different. the whole “i can do whatever i want” thing and everything is a big part of this.

cant tell if you just dont know what you want or if youre changing for the worst cause youre making dumb choices and going down hill. im telling you, turn around and open your eyes.